0:00

Here

0:02

is a message I absolutely guarantee

0:05

you've never heard. It is not intended

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to be religious, so please don't be

0:11

knee-jerk offended. It is intended to

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illustrate a bigger point for bigger and

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more open minds. Hello, my name is

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Ernest. Welcome. Now, I have an

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incredible story to tell you, so don't

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touch that dial. Listen. I went to a big

0:30

wig producer through the luck of a

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friend of a friend who's connected to

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Howard Stern and I was fortunate enough

0:39

that he allowed me to tell him an

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incredible story. So when all was said

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and done, he said he was blown away and

0:48

asking me what he could do for me. When

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the shock wore off that he was actually

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listening to me and actually asking me

0:58

what he could do for me, I told him if

1:02

he would simply be kind enough to have

1:04

me as a guest on some big wigs show so I

1:10

could get my message out there. And this

1:13

is the reason I keep begging and

1:15

pleading all of you guys to subscribe

1:18

because by comparison, my show has

1:21

virtually no subscribers. And he said,

1:24

"Fine. Would being on Joe Rogan be

1:27

okay?" And I almost melted. "Abso

1:31

damnutely," I said. "Now I'm finally

1:35

getting somewhere."

1:38

So this guy who wishes to remain

1:40

anonymous actually came through and just

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a few days later there I sat across the

1:48

table from one of the biggest boss hogs

1:51

in the podcast industry Joe Rogan.

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So as I was obviously honored to have

1:58

such a meeting with Joe Rogan, this was

2:01

not actually as a guest on an episode of

2:05

his. I was only there to pitch my story

2:08

to Joe to see if I could even qualify to

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be a guest on his show, The Joe Rogan

2:16

Experience. We actually had a great

2:19

conversation.

2:21

And just like the unnamed person

2:24

previously, he quietly listened intently

2:27

to what I had to say. And then his

2:30

response left me absolutely

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flabbergasted

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as in I couldn't even believe what he

2:39

said to me.

2:41

He said that even though he was

2:43

completely aware of his fame and

2:46

notoriety,

2:48

having me on his show would actually do

2:51

a huge disservice to my message and

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actually wanted to do me the

2:57

professional favor and request an

3:00

audience for me because my message was

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far more deserving than even the power

3:07

and listenership of his program.

3:10

Still in a state of shock, I said,

3:14

"Okay, Joe." I said with a a little

3:17

chuckle, "Who did you have in mind?

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Because I can't think of anyone except

3:24

maybe God that has your very large

3:27

audience." And he simply answered,

3:30

"Well, not God, but his personal

3:34

representative here on earth, the Pope."

3:38

Well,

3:40

bear in mind I was really tense with

3:42

anticipation

3:44

just by the fact that I was meeting Joe

3:47

Rogan. So when he said the pope, I

3:50

thought it was a joke and immediately

3:53

bust out laughing. Joe Rogan just kept

3:56

looking at me. He wasn't laughing.

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So, after I got semic-conscious again

4:02

from all the damn laughing, I timidly

4:05

asked the Pope, "Are you actually

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serious?" Which he responded that he was

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100% serious. To which I thought, "Holy

4:17

[ __ ] [ __ ] no pun intended. I had a

4:20

chance to meet the Pope

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again, just like what happened when I

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got the chance to meet Joe Rogan. I was

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simultaneously dumbruck and

4:32

flabbergasted.

4:34

Now, I was going to be meeting the Pope,

4:38

but coming to my senses, I said, "Joe, I

4:43

can't thank you enough for the

4:44

opportunity of a lifetime like this, but

4:47

honestly, I'm really pretty broke, Joe.

4:51

And if you ever mosy on over to one of

4:55

my episodes on my little podcast, you'll

4:58

see that I'm pitching tote bags. There's

5:02

no way I can swing even the airfare to

5:06

Vatican City, let alone any of the other

5:09

expenses.

5:11

Again, I was given one of the greatest

5:14

surprises of my life. Joe Rogan very

5:18

graciously told me not to worry about

5:20

it. All expenses would be paid not only

5:25

there, but my return trip as well. I was

5:30

absolutely speechless.

5:32

I was completely at a loss for words.

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All I could say with the deepest

5:39

sincerity was, "Thank you, Joe Rogan.

5:42

You are a true human being."

5:45

So several days and flights later, here

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I am in one of the most famous countries

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in the 21st century, Vatican City, which

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for those of you who don't know this,

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Vatican City has the official

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distinction as a separate country and

6:04

also has the distinction of the only

6:07

recognized country which pays no taxes.

6:11

But hey, just like Mel Brooks said as

6:14

the character of governor in Blazing

6:17

Saddles, it's good to be king. And I

6:20

didn't even mind when they instructed

6:23

that I enter the Vatican through the

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rear entrance. Yep. No unnecessary pomp

6:30

and circumstance for me, which suits me

6:34

just fine.

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So here I am soon to have an actual

6:39

audience with the new pope Leo, born

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Robert Francis Pvost, September 14th,

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1955.

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And I have all the excited nervousness

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of a high school virgin on prom night.

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Of course, for my meeting with his

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holiness, I make no mention of virgins,

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since that's probably a very sensitive

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and touchy subject for his grace.

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So eventually, after waiting patiently

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for what seemed like quite some time, in

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a plain room where the outside was

7:19

marked, which I believe translated into

7:22

grocery delivery in Italian, I was met

7:27

by a man who was to introduce me to the

7:30

Pope, who apparently had been reading

7:33

over the same transcript that I had sent

7:36

to Joe Rogan, and who absolutely shocked

7:39

me with his response when I met him.

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Now, I don't know if this matters if

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you're Catholic or not, but I'm going to

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tell you, you will be absolutely shocked

7:51

at what I'm about to say and what I was

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told by none other than the Pope

7:58

himself.

7:59

As incredible as this may sound, his

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holiness, just like Joe Rogan, thought

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that what I had to say was of such

8:08

incredible importance that even if I

8:11

gave the transcript to him, to read

8:13

aloud before all the masses, it would be

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so incredibly difficult to understand

8:20

and believe that it was simply a task he

8:24

could not perform.

8:27

Now when the Pope himself tells you that

8:30

you have a message so utterly profound

8:34

that even he cannot deliver it with the

8:37

kind of force and believability that is

8:40

required of a message so utterly

8:44

profound.

8:45

You know you're pretty much at the end

8:48

of your podcast rope. But we're talking

8:51

the Pope here and the Pope has

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connections. But I never expected this.

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His holiness said this was a very

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special and unusual situation, and it

9:04

would require a pronouncement from even

9:07

a higher authority than that vested in

9:11

him. His pause was long and

9:14

uncomfortable, and summoning all the

9:17

strength and courage I could muster, I

9:20

asked, "Your grace, I don't exactly

9:24

understand what you're saying. To my

9:27

knowledge, I simply cannot think of a

9:30

greater representative of collective

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human knowledge and the will of God than

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yourself."

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to which his holiness responded, "There

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is certainly one greater, Jesus Christ.

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And with this, I experienced something

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few, if any, mere mortals have

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experienced, an actual meeting with

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Jesus Christ." If I could just take a

9:57

moment for this pitch. Here's the

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amazing and incredible Earnest Man tote

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bag.

10:05

Christ, which can be all yours for a

10:08

very reasonable donation by just

10:10

clicking on the link in the description

10:12

below. It's sturdy and holds a lot of

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ramen noodles.

10:17

No, seriously, it it holds a a lot of

10:21

ramen noodles.

10:24

To say the Pope has connections is an

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understatement that are inconceivable.

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So here I am not only in Vatican City

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but in the very Vatican itself

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and through the power of his grace the

10:45

pope I am actually speaking with the son

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of God Jesus Christ and it is an

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experience far beyond any words can ever

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express.

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The feeling is of a being of the

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greatest love imaginable. Yet, unlike

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his old man, is extremely kind and

11:06

non-domineering.

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He is the coolest being you could ever

11:11

meet or ever want to.

11:14

So, without me speaking a word, I'm

11:17

assuming it is because he's the Christ.

11:21

He says, "Ernest, put forth your

11:23

message. But do understand this.

11:27

In the time when I walked the earth as

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my father wanted me to, I also tried to

11:34

the best of my ability to help and love

11:38

mankind.

11:40

But in the end, that only ended up with

11:42

a Roman crucifixion,

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which you being a mortal, I'm sure you

11:48

can understand it being extremely

11:51

unpleasant. But hear me.

11:54

I will help you deliver your message.

11:57

Yes, that includes that cool looking

12:00

tote bag that you were pedalling and

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encourage people to actually pay

12:05

attention to what you're saying. So,

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don't worry Ernest, I care and I am

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paying attention even if so many are

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not. I must say, Ernest, had you been

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around during my time on earth, it's

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entirely possible I never would have

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been crucified,

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which I can assure you, as I told my

12:28

father, was extremely unpleasant.

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That was the end of what Jesus said.

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Apparently, his old man seems to have a

12:41

strange sense of humor.

12:44

When this exchange was done, I cannot

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even describe how cool Jesus Christ was,

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especially the fact that Jesus Christ

12:54

really liked my tote bag. And it doesn't

12:57

get any better than that.

13:01

Well, that's all I've got for today. I

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hope you found this helpful or

13:06

interesting. And if you have any

13:09

questions at all, you can reach out to

13:11

me via my website link in the

13:14

description below. And if you really

13:17

want to give me a compliment, telling a

13:19

friend about the show would be the best

13:22

compliment you could ever give me. Until

13:25

next time, this is Ernest, and I usually

13:29

always am.