Episode 408

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Published on:

13th Jan 2025

ANNA’S UNFAITHFULNESS ISSUE. EARNEST MANN’S: LIFE ADVICE PC. 1

The Hard Truth About Relationships and Control

Hello, Earnest Mann here! Today, I’m responding to a deeply emotional letter from Anna in Houston, Texas. Anna, while you might not like what I’m about to say, this is potent medicine—bitter but beneficial. Relationships and life are often far beyond our control, and understanding that can be a powerful step toward healing.

Pain, Perspective, and Relativity in Life

Anna, discovering your husband’s infidelity is devastating. But let’s reflect: would this pain seem as consuming if you faced a life-threatening illness? This isn’t to diminish your experience but to emphasize how the importance of life’s challenges shifts with perspective. Pain, as harsh as it feels, is deeply subjective and often fleeting when weighed against larger life events.

Understanding Relationships Beyond Fantasy

Relationships aren’t dictated by destiny or guarantees. They’re shaped by forces set in motion long before we meet someone. Whether your partner is an “alpha male” or a “beta provider,” expecting someone to fundamentally change their nature often leads to disappointment. Acceptance—not magical thinking—offers the greatest chance of navigating this turbulent chapter.

Letting Go of the Illusion of Control

The cosmic dance of life, as I call it, often feels beyond our control. And that’s okay. The key is acknowledging this reality. Trying to force someone’s behavior to align with your expectations is a path to frustration. Instead, focus on honest self-assessment and rational decisions about your next steps.

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With friends, as with many other things in life, I desire quality over quantity, and I have absolutely no tolerance for bullshit.

I'm seeking to build a community of Intelligent thinkers daring to discuss, what the hell really needs to be openly discussed.

Please consider, that by visiting my website and donating to this show, you're supporting an actual financially challenged (pleasant speak for being fucking broke) person, not some mega corporation, that wouldn't know human compassion if it hit them over they're fucking head.

Thank you for taking the time, to read this, and remember to avoid anyone spewing bullshit as much as possible, your life will be far better for it. Earnest

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© 2024 - 25 The Earnest Mann Show

Transcript
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I have received a very disturbing letter from a  woman in Houston Texas named Anna so Anna here's  

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my response although I must forewarn you you may  not like what I'm about to say it's potent bitter  

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medicine but it's very good medicine so well  Anna I understand you're very upset but you're  

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coming across a bit too emotional so I'm sorry  you're feeling this bad but let's slow down take  

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a deep breath and try to deconstruct this chaos  together okay okay so you recently discovered that  

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your husband is cheating on you and I feel for  you but let me ask you this question would you  

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rather discover that your husband is cheating on  you or have a doctor give you a prognosis that you  

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have cancer I would be willing to bet a hell of a  lot Anna that if a doctor gave you a prognosis of  

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cancers the issue of your husband cheating on  you wouldn't mean a hell of a lot and you know  

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why because the things that are most important to  us can change at a moment's notice it's all about  

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what's relative in your life therefore pain to one  extent or another is always subjective now I'm not  

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in any way meaning to make light of your situation  on I'm just trying to illustrate that whether you  

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are aware of it or not many times even though we  think we're picking our battles we're actually not  

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those decisions have already been made by forces  greater than our usual levels of awareness many  

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people have the mistaken notion that they have a  great deal of control concerning relationships but  

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in reality we don't the actual trajectories of  our various relationships were set into motion  

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long before we even met the person that we often  arrogantly refer to as our soulmate and as soon  

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as a person accepts that they also must accept the  fact that there was so much going on beyond their  

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control there was really no way in hell there was  anything remotely related to Destiny involved I  

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know that doesn't sound very romantic but it's  true there is no guarantee that we'll actually  

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get what we want such as lover that's faithful  to us but I'm also telling you this Anna that  

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before we are even in a position to cross that  bridge we have to be at a solid and reasonable  

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position first that is to say you should look at  a relationship like this if position a which is  

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how you are viewing or attempting to create a  relationship wants to get to position C which  

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is the end goal of a given relationship it has  to recognize that it needs to get to position B  

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honest and unemotional evaluation of the potential  relationship first but I don't want to get ahead  

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of myself I believe that before we actually go  into talking about the subject of relationships  

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themselves it might be better to actually discuss  a bit about this Cosmic dance that we generally  

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refer to as life first because simply put and if  we don't do that we're putting the proverbial cart  

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before the horse that in turn is long before  we get into the conversation of whether or  

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not there is a cart or a horse don't worry I'm  not going to get all existential here you're  

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feeling very hurt by your husband's infidelity  and I totally understand that but here are my  

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thoughts remember I'm not going to tell you  what you want to hear rather what you need to

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hear as long as you are willing to step out of the  boundaries of magical thinking the you stand the  

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greatest chance of staying with or reconnecting  with this person assuming that's what you want to  

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do if you're willing to recognize the difference  between male psychology as well as physiology  

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simply put Anna men have a different priority  set that can be very difficult for any woman  

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to accept notice I didn't say understand I said  accept I also want to let you know that you never  

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told me your ages whether or not your husband  is a tall handsome alpha male type or just a  

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typical beta male provider these are both very  important parts of the equation without knowing  

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what they are it does make giving relationship  advice a bit difficult but I will pick one of  

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them and give you some advice and if I'm  picking the wrong type ay then let me know  

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and I will adjust my advice accordingly if the  man you are involved with is an alpha male and  

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you think that you're going to convert him into  a weak complacent Suburban male to shuttle around  

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the children and mow the lawn that's not going to  happen that's why he's cheating on you you should  

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think of him as a fine stallion he's built for  Speed not comfort and if that's what you expect  

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from him now now that the breeding is completed  you should go and get the male equivalent of a  

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dumb plow horse and be prepared to spend the rest  of your dull vacuous and monotone existence in a  

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Suburban hellscape but that's not his nature  the choice is entirely yours or is it you see  

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Anna the truth I have witnessed in my life and  this is supported by cross cultural historical  

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studies and a great deal of documentation is that  to a greater or lesser degree the idea that you  

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or I have any real control over any of this is  actually a delusion and if in fact that is the  

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case then at least you or I can take solace in the  fact that certain situations and life especially  

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when it comes to relationships are largely out  of our hands and so if that is the case and it  

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certainly seems it is then it naturally flows  that we simply need to recognize that fact of  

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existence and stop engaging in the futility of  delusional thinking that what we want to do or see  

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happen with another person is actually something  we have any real control over whatsoever and that  

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animal is the absolute truth hey if you found  this helpful or if you have any questions you'd  

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like to ask me please don't hesitate to drop me a  line through my contact in the description below  

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and I'll help you any way I can until next Monday  or Friday this is earnest and I usually always am

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About the Podcast

The Earnest Mann Show
A truly unique broadcast, Unabashedly celebrating unwokeness.
One of the many things I enjoy doing in life, is helping other people the best way I know how, by offering people a sanctuary of sanity in a world gone mad. I do this by offering a different perspective, a realist perspective on just about anything and everything. You see, I have found, that there can be amazing relevant connections in our everyday life, from very unlikely sources, meaning people that on the surface you might think would absolutely have nothing in common with you, but having a discussion with them, ended up benefiting my life, just with the exact information, and at the exact time I needed it! I'm telling you, you will be amazed at how communications with many life experiences can positively affect and improve your life! That is why I created The Earnest Mann Show, a place where we can talk about anything. From history, to current events, economics, politics and religion, to sex with space aliens, you name it, the topics for discussion are only as limited as our imagination, and your input, so leave a comment, because your opinion matters, in this big beautiful world we all share.

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