Podcast# 225 Ask Yourself: This What do I Really Want in This World?

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yes indeed and this is Monday and this is earnest man and this is episode number 225. ask yourself this what do I really want in this world this is a question that I got from a fellow named Dolan in Vancouver British Columbia and so Dolan thank you very much for the question and I think it's a very good question so we're going to talk about that a little bit here now when you ask this question you know it can be uh surprisingly simple um because with most people if you're one of those people

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and they say well what do I want well I want a better job or I want to raise on my job or I want a better partner that kind of thing but I'm talking about something a little bit deeper and the reason I'm asking you that is because in my mind what I have been able to come up with is that actually a lot of times you can ask people even close friends this question and more often than not you know you'll get a what I call a topical answer you know the same kind of answers that I just talked about well I want a better job or you know better

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paying job or you know I want to maybe I want to lose some weight or you know a new car or a different car you know those kinds of things but you see I don't believe in my heart of hearts that that is what brings about real lasting true happiness because the fact is we often become very sad and depressed when what it is that we really want uh seems beyond our grasp and most of the time when I talk about this and people can be you know very specific about these things and I tell them very specifically how they can go about

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making the changes necessary to bring this about and that's fine there's absolutely nothing wrong with that except for the fact that again it's these things that are relatively small and so I'm putting I'm putting the onus on you to come up with something a lot bigger much bigger than that because that's what life is about that's what makes it fun it is the pursuit of these things and it it doesn't necessarily have to be money with a lot of people's money but it doesn't have to be that

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but I feel as though also um you know it should be something a bit more important let's say important to the overall picture of you know what you can see is achieving a level of uh happiness let's say very long lasting deep happiness now now that I put this out here to you have you thought about this have you actually had even a chance to do that and I say that because I know so many people who are so incredibly busy with so much on their plate that they don't even do that in other words in conversations that I

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have you know it um we might have to just you've got all these barriers that you have to break down and then they'll say well you know to be honest tell you the truth what I really like to do and then we pursue that we we go down that road a ways and I say well yeah that's all that's good and everything but I'm not really sure that this is going to be a lasting a big part of a puzzle so the thing is a lot of people also they have these barriers they have these levels of coverage and it's it's to me it's really you know

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it's really strange no I don't know maybe people have not been that introspective enough to want to do that which I think is really pretty sad because um I know what I want and I have not achieved that I'm working on it working towards it um and some things they don't for that matter they don't even have to be public some things you'd rather not speak about you you maybe you think they're insignificant or silly but the important thing is at least to talk about your realistic chances of getting this done

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now the reason why I'm talking about this is I consider all of these things to be a domino effect in your mental health and your mental health to a greater or lesser extent does affect your physical health so it's important it really is that important the other side of this in addition to that is the way people cover themselves when they feel as though that those things that they wanted in their life what they really wanted where they wanted to be at a certain age and Stage let's say in their life and they have not been able to achieve

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that and so they take this as a burden and you know they keep it on their shoulders and and they do that through their whole life and through my experience and the people I've talked to um you know it becomes it becomes quite a damn burden and that's not good that's not a good thing in your life to be you know you don't want to be past certain ages or stages in your life and your feelings though you know you're only in your 40s let's say and you feel at least a part of you feels as though

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your life is over because you feel as though that you know what it is that you want is simply there's no way it's not achievable and I don't subscribe to that now certain elements certain things um I believe that that is true um you know if you're let's say I don't know 50 years old and when we break everything down and regardless of how it may sound to others um all you all you ever wanted to be was a major league baseball uh player let's say a pitcher so realistically when we look at this

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we could say well you know I don't I don't see you at the at the age of 50 I I just don't see that happening and and of course I think you know uh I I think that's realistic that that's not you know going to happen but that doesn't mean every part of that cannot happen see there are aspects of it that can happen so the important thing though is to recognize this because you know there's more to life for instance than work I don't think it takes any person with a great deal of intelligence to figure out

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that as long as you are you know working a job you're working for the corporate machine or or what have you um that's not about your hopes and dreams that's about somebody else's and the sad reality is is that oftentimes those people who are your employers those people your bosses and and whatnot the people all the way up to you know in the corporation all the way up or big business or what have you and they have done some things in their life and frankly a lot of them done some very very ugly things

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just to achieve that and so you see that's the trap on their end because you can't do that kind of thing you can't do that kind of to other people around you and expect it not to affect you in a negative way because it's going to it's absolutely going to so I mean let me give you I could give you many but let me just give you this one example let's say that you were extremely lucky and even if you hardly ever for instance play the lottery but just on some weird whim you bought a lottery ticket

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and by the way this has happened many times on people not people that are playing the lottery like crazy just it's one occasional person you know he bought a lottery ticket and whatnot and he hit the lottery so I know I'll just I'll just pick a number say they got 20 million or 30 million or what have you so on the surface um you know we can all all of us have our own thoughts on this about while you say you know what a lucky bastard I know if I hit that I would do this this this this and this but more often than not

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even if the person against astronomical numerical odds one in there about one ticket occasionally and and did this and hit the lottery believe it or not more often not these people they can turn around and just as easily lose it all they lose it all in a very few some of them is short as two or three years all the money's gone and they're right back to square one now we all look at that and our gut reaction you know it may be well that person has got to be an absolute fool because if I won the lottery you know that wouldn't happen to me

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well you know it's entirely possible that that very person that that did happen to they were thinking the same thing and the reason this happens is actually quite a few but mostly it's because they were not prepared because as with anything of this nature you see you've got to have a plan that's that's it in other words you have a plan even before the reality of that great Fortune happens my point about this is that more often than not people are so apathetic all the time and I see this all the

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time that they have stopped planning and maybe what you want to do is far more modest than hitting the lottery but you see one of the ways that this positiveness manifests itself is that you can you can be the most lowly person working the lowest job but there are people that I've known doing those kinds of jobs but there's something about them that you put them in a very bad situation and they they work their ass off they are they are always trying to improve their situation in other words if you want to talk a

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difference between being an optimist versus pessimist they would definitely be The Optimist and you know what and I and there's actually even I've done some studying about this there is evidence that shows that when these people uh get in a better position and more often than not they do and the reason for that is that with people and you know this you know this amongst your friends co-workers family members you know people that you just like being around it doesn't mean they don't necessarily you know they

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again they don't have to be wealthy they may be really poor but you like them there's something about them that is really appealing to you you don't mind you know chit chatting with them about you know what's going on about the day or or this bit of news or that bit of news uh I've known I don't know how many people like that I have known in my life and I call those positive people and the thing is also what I've known is that whenever there is any kind of opportunity something that a a real negative person

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doesn't see because they're too busy being negative but they see it but other people see it in them they see and feel the attitude I think that most people and I'm talking about you you can you can enjoy if well especially you know if you're a positive person yourself um it's you it's hard to put a finger on it it really is but it's just something you feel I'll call it uh call it a wavelength or call it a you know a Vibe whatever the hell you want to call it but you know people that you want to be

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around and in addition to that you know people that you could even like so much that you would help them out if given an opportunity and these people they they don't even they don't even have to ask for it it just comes to them because positive affects positive and you know what else maybe you've noticed this because I know I sure as hell have the people that are negative people that are you know constantly singing the blues and drinking and smoking themselves sick and these are people there are people

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that are in a downward spiral and they tend to attract the same people and then with other people again could be friends or family who are not a part of that downward spiral if they're not part of that negative energy thing they don't hang around them they don't surround themselves because it's unspoken it's just something you know now when I say having a plan and I mean a realistic plan you have to understand that it has to be give and take if there's something that you want you've got to be able to give in order

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to receive it now I'll give you another example of this I had a friend he was not wealthy not wealthy at least not what I would consider to be wealthy um this guy definitely did not have a six-figure income so wasn't even anywhere near a six-figure income so you know to me he wasn't wealthy just working his job and getting on his life the best you could but uh he befriended another guy and it was an auto mechanic and they just you know they they hit it off really well and um basically you know they they

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became friends and then with the uh the guy who was uh you know the friend of the mechanic he had a boat and he wasn't really using that boat anymore and it wasn't like you know it was a it was a motorboat um but it wasn't like a bay liner or you know it wasn't that yacht it wasn't a sailboat but he hadn't used it in quite some time and the mechanic guy when he came over to his house and you know they were socializing barbecuing something and he always you know he mentioned he he loved that boat

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and um so the the guy that owned it you know he said he finally said you know are you serious you you really you really you really loved that boat and he's like oh yeah and how happy he would be if he had the boat and he says you know and he says so uh how much were you how much will you give me for it and then the guy you know he kind of laughed he said oh I don't have any money I'm I'm not even anywhere near no no no I I can't afford that you know and and all that I I can't afford it's

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out of my reach and the guy ended up telling him he said tell you what I need something there's something that I need and so maybe we can work something out how about if I just give you the boat and so the mechanic guy thought he was just you know of course thought he was kitten and um and it's like no no he's just like um you know uh I need I need some help myself and you know if you you know if you're willing to help me and and the guy said well sure you know what do you need and so um they discussed things and he gave him

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the boat and mechanic guy he was he was happy as could be and all that the guy that owned the boat wanted was professional help um to pick out a good cars his professional advice from his mechanic slash friend and so he wanted advice on uh he'd had a series of you know these bad cars and he said well help me pick out a car and then you know you know what the good cars are and the bad cars now I know um there's a million things online that will tell you this generally speaking but um and that's important

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but this was prior to all that and even even today yeah that information is great for finding reliable car or or what have have you but uh it only goes so far and you know if you have if you have a mechanic a good mechanic as a friend that's a wonderful thing to have in your back pocket and so he established that and he gave him the boat and the guy gave him all this advice about cars and he got rid of his old car and he got a new much better car and then he helped him to decide and what to do with maintenance the point is is that

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that is a valuable asset so he wasn't greedy he was willing to give up something to get something you know he had this boat he had he had used the boat for several years he had gotten his pleasure out of that boat and he just didn't really need it he got his spawn out of it and it's just like toys in the toy box you take this and and he gave it to the guy and then further down the road for many years he had the help and advice and everything from his mechanic friend now you can apply that same principle

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to other people in other professions now I want you to listen carefully to this because I know there's a million jokes that say about attorneys and everybody wants to hate attorneys and they you know they call them ambulance Chasers but let me tell you something again if you have a friend who is an attorney and he's your friend that is an incredible resource but then again it all has to do with these connections and a medium of Exchange in other words you've got to give to get but in order to give besides having

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something you can't be greedy you can't be a negative person you have to be willing to share what you have whether it be a mental uh thing that you have with uh I don't know doing computers or whatever that may be or perhaps you're a plumber or a mechanic it comes around it's basically like bartering but it's bartering with a plus but here's the thing see while you're doing all of this what you'll notice is is that it draws it's like a magnet it draws people into a circle and one thing that you

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notice about those people is that less and less they're not concerned about what they want in the world in mundane terms they're all looking for much better as far as happiness as far as what in their lives would make them feel better and be happy there may be for instance a person and a lot of people um understandably in certain areas feel this way talk about another person who lives in the worst part of one of the worst parts now of San Francisco and if you have been listening to the news or any of the things that I have

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discussed you know there's so much so many formerly wonderful beautiful places in California that are quite literally going to hell in a handbasket and these people what what do they want what's important to them for many of them it's to get the hell out just that just to get out and get to a place where there's not so much filth and crime and drugs and smog and all of those things that have made it become the horrible place that it has become many of them though feel trapped because of certain economic conditions

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but what I have found again is that in many cases not all I'm not saying all of them but in many of those cases you also have people that they are not willing to give and I'm talking of course I'm not talking about a person who's necessarily destitute of any possessions because you do have to have something you know I don't care if you are a carpenter or even were a carpenter as long as you're not you know physically incapacitated you have that knowledge you that that is a bartering chip right

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there so what I'm trying to say is oftentimes I'm not saying always again there are exceptions but people do not fulfill what they really want in this world because they are not willing to give see for instance I know far as speaking about Moi I know what I want and I have a pretty good idea of what it is I need to get there okay and I work on this all the time and is it going to happen I don't know it's just like so many things in our life we don't know we don't know but the idea is

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is that you have to be prepared for it like another example would be you could have a mechanic and he is a great mechanic or a carpenter and as long as you have your tools you have those tools cleaned up organized ready to go you've got your your uh your Tool uh your two case your bucket your this that and the other and as long as you have that then win the opportunity happens when that occurs you're ready to pounce on it that's why I have always said for instance that fate and opportunity it favors the prepared

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you'll notice I didn't say guarantees there are a few things in life that are guaranteed I know you've heard the often quoted phrase of death in taxes okay fine but it's all about preparation and it's all about a willingness to give in order to get it's a form of bartering but you can't also you cannot barter just any kind of anything especially if it is of a negative nature that will take you nowhere that is operating on a very low level and you don't want to go there you don't want to be doing that

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and so if you even in the current conditions of this country right now which are not good but you'll notice notice this I know you've seen it I know you've seen it all the time you can get guys that come here you know it used to be probably now guys from um you know that can be from Egypt they can be from Nepal they can be from you know any of the African States and places like they don't speak the language they don't know the culture they you know they would just seem you know why the hell are you here well bear

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this in mind the very fact and I'm talking about the legal people you know um often from uh you know South Africa for instance um that have come legally they've spent scraped everything they could possibly do to get just to get to America because they know that if they're able to do that if they could pull that off if they're able to do that and pull that off then with the tenacity that they possess they will succeed and you're talking about for instance a guy that can come here with virtually

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nothing but the shoes on his feet and maybe he's driving a taxi and three or four years later he owns a taxi company yeah yes and it does happen I'm not talking about though this adage that I really don't like about the self-reliance and pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps a lot of that is just nonsense I'm talking about though a difference in the way you perceive yourself and how you're willing to trade and communicate in a positive way with others I don't mean to go I'm not I don't mean this in

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any way to be all woo-woo and positive Mystic Vibes I don't mean that I mean actually doing for others and expecting you know we're it's a form of I call it positive bartering if you will so yeah you could say that for instance what I am giving to you is bartering because I know that some of you out there are gonna understand where I'm coming from okay yes yes indeed I know that and that you will at some point maybe even contact me and you're gonna say hey this is what I've got this is my situation

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what do you think I should do that's how I just for instance I got this whole story this whole thing that I'm talking about from this um fellow that is in British Columbia and that's how it starts it could be the most seemingly small unimportant thing and it could it could just turn around and out of nowhere hey I've got this house I need this house rebuilt or it's I just want to get rid of it for tax reasons if you could take the house and fix it up here I'll just you know just just take possession

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or take care of the you know pay off the previous taxes or whatnot if you're able to do that there are so many ways but then again you see it can't be focused around just money that's where people get hung they get hung up on it because it's all about the money as a transaction for this and then you end up getting stuck back in this Loop which is what you're really trying to get the hell out of because it's not about that it's about getting to what you think in this world would really make you happy and get you

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independent and get you in the position to be able to do that you know folks if you listen to my show that's great I really appreciate it I would really appreciate it even more if you would go over to my website to listen to the show because there is just so much more going on there so go on over to the earnestmanshow.

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com listen to the episode or all my episodes to your heart's content just please subscribe and leave a comment until next time this is Ernest reminding you that there are no bad words just bad actions