00:00 [Music] hey folks it's Monday but I'm going to try to take care of those Monday blues and dive right into a very unusual story which is not only bizarre and stupid but completely true what it involves is something a lot of people are actually looking forward to the upcoming Super Bowl except this Super Bowl most likely will end up in divorce and maybe even physical violence so keep listening and you'll find out how yours truly just got caught up in the middle of this now I'm not going to say that this

00:52 is the most bizarre or totally stupid situation I've ever been involved with but it definitely ranks very high in the running just wait until you hear what I'm about to tell you it started out normal enough as usual I get emails with requests to talk about different subjects so when I got the original request from Dwayne in Flagstaff Arizona I was really impressed with his question since I don't remember being asked this question before and Wayne asked Ernest what is the weirdest or absolute stupidest situation you ever

01:36 remember being in thank you Dwayne and thank you for the support it is greatly appreciated so without hesitation I knew exactly the story I was going to tell and then no later than 5 minutes after I read Dwayne's message the phone rings and with this call I ended up changing my my mind about the story I was going to do and committed to this instead little did I know what I was going to end up getting my life into so the person who called is an old client of mine he's basically about my age and I've been doing business with

02:20 him for several years I'll call him Al and his son I'll call Billy so we went through some you know friendly small talk and then we started talking about the Super Bowl and basically without me knowing it this is where the train began to run off the rails he told me that Billy kept talking about some very special wager around the Super Bowl and he wanted to know if I would be willing to stop by Billy's house and check everything out just to make sure everything was legal and what wouldn't somehow end up with Billy

03:03 getting into any kind of craziness that he would have to end up bailing Billy out of and I knew that over the years that's exactly the kind of thing Al had done several times you see Billy wasn't exactly what you'd call that bright so I understood you see his dad lives an entire State away from his son Billy who owns the construction company that Billy works for as a matter of fact it's the only company Billy's ever worked for and I live only a few miles away so without giving it much thought I said yeah sure

03:48 I'd love to stay and watch the game anyway and as it turned out that was my big mistake so now you'll understand how I got into this stupid ass mess you see telling Al that I would stop by and check out what was going on with his son Billy was more of a knee-jerk reaction to a client than anything else the fact the matter is Billy is not really a bad person but let's just say he's not the brightest candle in the candle opera kind of like he's not playing with a full dick if you know what I mean but I can't tell the

04:32 Man's father who's been my client for several years that I don't want to be around his son or have anything to do with him because I think he's a batshit crazy especially if I want to do any more business with him so I committed to it and I met with Billy the next day to find out what this was all about so so Billy told me that he had decided to go with the Detroit Lions to win the Super Bowl and I explained to him that they've still got like two more games to win even before they get into

05:13 the Super Bowl and he said he understood that uh then he said but if they do go to the Super Bowl my ass is getting a vintage motorcycle remember I'm not here to tell Billy what to do just to make sure he doesn't burn the damn house down Billy tells me that there is this older man that has a very special vintage motorcycle that Billy wants really bad so without telling his wife thank God they don't have any kids Billy's I guess you know in his mid-30s he bet the title of his house which he owns free and clear against the

05:59 title for for that motorcycle and his wife Susan knows absolutely nothing about this Jesus Christ what an idiot I thought to myself so Billy has his plan and he told me what is supposed to happen exactly he said he didn't forget any details then he actually acted it out with all the enthusiasm of a 13-year-old boy running all around the house demonstrating what Scotty will be doing and he's trying to get Scotty to bring his pet python python I thought yeah this is just getting better by the minute I'll get to

06:47 Scotty in a minute and even though one good thing about Billy is that he absolutely doesn't do drugs that doesn't stop him from jumping up and down on the dining room table like a monkey on methampetamine Billy told me that the man who owns the motorcycle who is around 70 is supposed to show up with the motorcycle near game time about a dozen people will be there and Susan is going all out with plenty of food and drink for the game I like the idea about the drinks because if Billy's plan falls through they're going

07:31 to be needing it back to Billy's plan exactly at halftime a well-known local performer named Scotty who is Salem's version of wean from Jackass is supposed to come running into the house dressed up as a Detroit Lion with an airhorn hollering we're going to win the bike we're going to win the bike yeah this should go over really well especially if the lions are getting their ass beat at halftime and just a note Billy wanted Scotty to bring his pet 8-foot python to the party which Billy thought would really help get the

08:20 party going but it's winter time and Scotty told Billy he didn't take his snakes out in the you know the cold winter and when Billy was telling me that he had an expression like a rejected child so then Billy said that when Susan would ask him what Scotty means by hollering we're going to win the bike over and over again at halftime whiley's blowing an air horn because she might be a little confused a little confused he was going to tell her about about his big surprise about bedding the house and

09:04 winning the vintage motorcycle from the old fella sitting on the couch when the detur Lions win the Super Bowl for the sake of everybody involved I sure as he'll hope the Detroit Lions don't make it to the C Bowl but if the Lions do make it to the Super Bowl this will absolutely be one of the dumbest things I've ever witnessed in a long time and I believe that Billy is one of the dumbest men I've ever seen in my life if the Lions make it to the Super Bowl and I'm at this idiotic Fiasco I got my own game plan when it

09:52 gets down to the wire and things are either looking really bad for the Lions or even if it's too close to call I'm getting the hell out of there because if he ends up losing that house not only is she going to divorce him she might be in such a rage that she takes a gun and tries to shoot him and I can't really say as I would blame her so now you understand why when I started out this story about the Super Bowl and how it will probably end in divorce or physical violence you know come to think of it

10:38 Dwayne maybe you're right maybe this will be the stupidest damn thing I've ever had to experience maybe one day when somebody asks me to do something I might even be smart enough next time to keep a damn mouth shut until next Monday or Friday this is earnest wishing you peace and good things