0:00

what I'm going to tell you about in all

0:02

honesty is very depressing but I'm also

0:05

going to tell you about something very

0:07

positive I discovered so sit back and

0:10

relax or do whatever you find most

0:13

helpful to relax and I promise you that

0:17

you'll be able to say you haven't felt

0:19

so good hearing about people killing

0:22

each other in your entire

0:27

life if you work for a Liv why do you

0:31

kill yourself

0:35

working if you're anything like me

0:38

you're absolutely sick of hearing about

0:40

the crisis in the Middle East Israelis

0:43

killing Palestinians Palestinians in

0:45

turn killing Israelis with no end in

0:49

sight now there is a very important

0:53

specific reason why I said if you're

0:56

anything like me because if you're say

1:00

20 or 25 you haven't reached the point

1:03

where you're [ __ ] absolutely sick of

1:06

this because chances are you simply

1:09

haven't been around long enough to know

1:11

about this endless insane [ __ ] storm

1:15

better yet as a young person you've

1:18

really got better things to do with your

1:21

time and these times better things might

1:24

be video games but in mind it was

1:27

[ __ ] before it basically became a

1:30

crime as it is today for a perfectly

1:34

normal sexual encounter to be turned

1:37

into a mandatory terrifying and

1:39

traumatizing experience requiring years

1:43

of therapy and meds Jesus Christ I'm so

1:47

glad I wasn't born in the

1:49

9s where was I oh yes [ __ ] it so

1:53

depending on your age you may or may not

1:57

be really hella sick of this conflict

2:01

now imagine if you're me I've been

2:03

paying a fair bit of attention to the

2:05

Middle East Insanity for 30 years and

2:09

I've been subjugated to

2:11

hearing about this Perpetual killing and

2:15

conflict cluster [ __ ] for 50 years so

2:19

imagine how the hell I

2:21

feel I've given a great deal of thought

2:24

about the conflict between the Israelis

2:26

and Arabs for many years now and here's

2:29

my big picture

2:31

conclusion neither of these crazy

2:34

[ __ ] will ever stop killing

2:37

each other and here's why if you try to

2:41

talk to either side about this conflict

2:44

both will start talking about the

2:46

troubles that were taking place since

2:49

the creation of the state of Israel in

2:52

1948 but the truth of the matter is this

2:56

[ __ ] goes back long before then these

2:59

people have been killing each other not

3:02

just for decades but for [ __ ]

3:05

centuries actually even before that to

3:08

put this in modern terms imagine a man

3:12

and wife that have not only divorced

3:15

each other but actively continue to try

3:19

to stab each other to death at every

3:23

opportunity gives new meaning to the

3:25

term irreconcilable [ __ ] differences

3:28

doesn't it so as a consequence of this I

3:32

always ended up coming back to the same

3:34

conclusion I found over and over it's

3:38

just like having two crazy

3:40

neighbors Sometimes the best thing you

3:43

can do regardless of the consequences is

3:46

just stay the hell out of their way and

3:49

just let them beat the living [ __ ] out

3:52

of each other just let them go

3:55

completely wild hog ass crazy on each

3:58

other and

4:00

that that's when it I hit something wild

4:05

hog ass crazy of course why didn't I

4:08

think of this before why didn't anyone

4:12

think of this before Hogs the answer is

4:16

wild [ __ ]

4:19

Hogs so I have a plan and this plan will

4:23

finally bring peace between the Arabs

4:25

and Israelis the beauty of this plan is

4:28

that it requires new military equipment

4:30

or military operations whatsoever no

4:34

bombs need to be dropped anywhere and it

4:37

also Sid steps a huge problem between

4:41

Arab Israeli

4:43

negotiations no negotiations are

4:46

required of either party because an

4:50

absolutely necessary peace process will

4:53

go forward regardless of how much the

4:57

Arabs and Israelis love to kill each

5:00

other and I'm going to tell you my

5:02

ingenious plan in just a

5:05

moment now before I tell you my plan in

5:08

any detail there is just one small issue

5:12

of my

5:13

reward I'm not asking for much I'm very

5:16

humble that way but if I am going to be

5:20

the man responsible for this very long

5:23

lasting hell if not Eternal peace in the

5:27

Middle East I feel I should be

5:30

adequately rewarded so I'm only asking

5:34

for two things first 50% of the GDP of

5:39

the Middle East for the next 30 Years

5:42

and second a Nobel Peace Prize hell if

5:47

they gave one to Barack Obama for

5:50

essentially doing nothing considering

5:52

what I'm about to do I'm definitely

5:55

being not only reasonable but quite

5:58

humble

6:00

I'm stating this here openly now as a

6:03

public record so that when my plan is

6:07

implemented and it certainly will be

6:10

implemented because there is simply no

6:12

way it can fail the parties involved

6:15

will own up to their responsibilities

6:18

and without hesitation grant me the two

6:21

simple request that I have just made

6:25

public having made this request public I

6:29

am daating that I am 100% serious and I

6:32

expect the involved parties to follow

6:35

through so here is the plan that I'm

6:39

about to make crystal

6:41

clear one thing that I have noticed

6:44

through all of my intense studies of the

6:47

Middle East for several years was there

6:50

is a very big factor missing a buffer

6:53

zone

6:55

now when most people hear the term

6:58

buffer zone they tend to think think of

7:00

physical barriers causing separation and

7:03

that's certainly true but it can also

7:05

mean people and believe it or not

7:09

animals you see in several states of the

7:13

US there is a huge wild boore problem so

7:17

much so that in the state of Texas for

7:19

example there is a constant Open Season

7:23

and opening hunting on wild boar with

7:27

few if any restrictions

7:30

Hunters can and do quite simply kill as

7:33

many wild boar as they want but

7:36

incredibly wild boar are so tough it

7:40

requires a very high caliber rifle to

7:43

kill one and their reproductive rates so

7:47

high that even killing thousands upon

7:50

thousands of them each year the

7:53

population of wild boar continues to

7:56

grow once I became aware of this I

7:59

develop this foolproof Middle Eastern

8:02

peace plan in the simplest terms all

8:06

that initially needs to be done is to

8:10

trap and transport several thousand wild

8:13

boar from the US to the Middle East the

8:16

wild boes are already well acclimated to

8:20

the Middle Eastern desert climate

8:23

whereupon they would do what wild boards

8:27

do best reproduce

8:30

so how in the hell is bringing wild

8:33

bores to the Middle East supposed to

8:35

stop the war and conflict in the Middle

8:38

East you may reasonably ask well you may

8:43

ask and here is what no one else except

8:47

yours truly has figured out and it's

8:50

shockingly simple remember when I said

8:53

that Texas has a basically unrestricted

8:57

position on killing wild board

9:00

there's a very good reason for

9:03

that wild boar are notorious for several

9:07

bad things just one of them is that

9:10

while foraging for food they destroy

9:14

crop Fields but they're not limited to

9:17

Fields a person's backyard or garden

9:19

will do just fine and not only do they

9:22

eat everything they also destroy the

9:25

plants and soil around it in the process

9:28

like I said that alone is just one of

9:31

the many problems associated with wild

9:35

bores so by creating a large number of

9:39

wild boar in the Middle East and

9:41

remember most Jews do not eat pork and

9:45

Muslims absolutely do not eat pork so

9:48

they can't even use them for

9:51

food it would be everything the Arabs

9:54

and Israelis could do just to deal with

9:57

them and guess what but by taking all

10:00

that time and energy as well as

10:02

materials to deal with the wild boes

10:05

they wouldn't have the time materials or

10:08

certainly the energy to fight each other

10:11

so as a consequence suddenly we have

10:15

peace in the Middle

10:16

East I'll be waiting by the phone for

10:19

the call from the Nobel Peace Prize

10:23

commission thank you very

10:25

much now in the very unlikely event that

10:29

I don't get a call from the Nobel Peace

10:32

Prize commission please tune in every

10:35

Monday or Friday episodes posting at 6:

10:39

a.m. and if you haven't already please

10:42

hit that subscribe button and give me

10:45

the ultimate compliment by telling a

10:48

friend until next time this is earnest

10:53

take care