00:00 [Music] it's Friday everyone yay hope you had a great Thanksgiving today we're going to be talking about your Independence and how it helps create a better person and a better life first off I want to thank Robert in Iowa for his support it's your support Robert that keeps things going around here and it is sincerely appreciated another quick note there was no winner for last Friday's contest episode number 286 please feel free to give that episode a listen if you think you have the answer I had several responses but

00:54 so far I've still got you stumped I'm I'm going to be straight up with you through a real life example the big difference between how I understand and embrace personal Independence and the person I'm going to tell you about who doesn't now I have come to understand and experience what you get from an independent mindset versus denial and dependency and how an independent mindset builds what simply can't be bought character and once you experience what I'm talking about by putting an

01:37 independent mindset in the motion for yourself you'll know and understand exactly what I mean now I don't want to come across as being holier than thou I certainly hope I'm not because if anything I want you to know that I understand avoidance apathy and denial basically it all boils down to the same thing survival and we all sure as hell should at least want to survive but the goal of living is not to be in survival mode it's to be in a living mode that's how your life improves survival is just treading

02:23 water before I tell you this true story I just want to make sure I'm not being misunderstood because this is a really important Point here it's just as important to fully understand the reasons why you are suffering from something as it is to take care of the problem itself as a matter of fact it's the only real and Lasting way something gets changed for the better I know a middle-aged woman in her early 40s she seems like a pleasant enough person who manages a restaurant in the time that I've gotten

03:06 to know her she has shared some of her life problems with me so the other day I sto in for lunch and I noticed that she was limping I asked her what happened then she said she fell a few moments later she actually admitted that her live-in boyfriend beat her up now I know that many of you might have had the knee-jerk reaction thinking what an he must be and for all I know maybe he is but keep listening bear in mind I go to that restaurant when I know it's very slow because I enjoy talking to her and this particular time was no exception I think

03:54 there was like I don't know maybe one other person in the place so when I asked her some details about what's going on she gave me some details about all the bad he was doing and when she confronted him with it he physically assaulted her so on the surface it seems pretty cut and dry boyfriend physically attacks his girlfriend that he shares a living space with but actually it's not that cut and dry you see as I have said I've talked to her several times and she's confided several other issues that she's having in her

04:39 life but I noticed her descriptions have a pattern her problems ultimately never seem to get resolved because the way she's perceiving them approaching them and processing them is back asswards I believe based on our conversation s that what is basically comes down to in her case is a constant retelling of the proverbial stupid country song if you know what I mean she blames and externalizes what has definitely become a life problem for her her Livin boyfriend who blew all the rent money on drugs for example to

05:28 him and her other life problems to other people now those other people may in fact be dysfunctional or perhaps maybe even insane as she claims and causing a lot of problems in her life yet the fact remains that she chooses to have those people in her life clearly demonstrating dysfunctional contradictions I have known dozens of people just like her in my life and just about an every case they fail to see the obvious if you are having problems because there are crazy people in your life get the hell away from them stop

06:11 associating with them and don't do it in a half-ass manner cut your ties with them ASAP in my life experience and just about all cases like this the victim actually simply refuses to acknowledge that the primary reason why they're having so much hell or dysfunction in their life is that they refuse to disassociate from their friends often with countless reasons and rationalizations on how they keep getting sucked in to take effective control of their lives one of the problems that you have when you're talking with certain people

06:58 is just the frust rtion of getting down to Brass taxs you'll notice they contend to be what I call sing songy very good at pointing out all the minute details of just how crazy or dysfunctional a person's that's living with them may be but completely oblivious to the fact that if in fact everything that they say about the other person is true why in the hell are they in their lifespan face but another way they're very good at seeing the trees and the forest but apparently cannot grasp the concept of a

07:40 forest here's the condensed version of what she told me folks if I can just take a moment for a brief message if you've enjoyed this please do subscribe and hit the notification Bell because it really does help my my channel grow and if you can offer some support please do so by going to the co-i link in the description below even a cup of coffee would certainly be appreciated and last but certainly not least if you have anything no matter how ordinary or unordinary you would like to hear or discuss don't hesitate to reach out and

08:27 tell me what it is that link is is also in the description below I asked her if the relationship was also economic that she basically depended on his income to actually share the place they live in she said yes so once I got past all that aggravating hemming and Hauling I got the answer to the question that apparently she didn't the answer is that she doesn't want to control her life now when people are really young by Young I'm talking say 17 to 22 this kind of thing can and does happen all the time so to a certain

09:12 extent often family and Society will you know cut you some slack simply because of your age and inexperience but remember this woman I've been talking about is in her early 40s and being that unaware of certain life realities at that age is definitely not a good place to be and unfortunately there are many people out there just like her so the long and short of this is that it comes down to a person's ability to recognize the true state of their life which many people today simply refuse to do which in turn ends up being

09:58 a very big problem problem in their lives a reoccurring theme of dysfunctionality if you can't even live in an apartment without having to cohabitate for economic reasons then ultimately you do not control your life and if you're really sick of that controlling your life should become your priority otherwise you're just playing games with yourself I totally understand that this can be a very hard pilled swallow but that is the hard and true reality of existence and the sooner you surrender to that reality the sooner

10:44 you'll be on your way to actually being an independent person and once you do that at least that's one aspect of your life you should feel really good about your position possessions may be few and not worth much your car if you can afford one and the insurance it may be old and a piece of and your apartment or room may also be but at least it's your and you're not 30 or 40 years old still living with or off your parents and you are not economically dependent on a lover or anyone else whether they are crazy or not for that

11:33 matter and this my dear listeners is my advice on gaining a greater level of Happiness through Earnest Independence until next time this is earnest wishing your health wealth and good luck